Are you jealous?

8 May 2015

Dear friend,

Someone asked me this in an argument...

Are you jealous? 

The implication was that I was jealous of her 'normal' children.

This shocked me to the core.

I checked the definition and realised that she was right.

Yes, I am jealous...

But not in the way that my 'friend' meant.

I am not envious.  
I don't want what she has. 
I don't wish that my son was like hers.
(That was the implication.)

I believe that to covert what someone else has you must be disappointed with what you have.

How could I be disappointed with my life?

My family mean everything to me.

We are happy, we are healthy and we love each other very much!

I know that everyone faces challenges, regardless of what their Facebook profile shows. My photo of the week last week was taken just before the big lad decided to swing the little man around and he landed, face first, in the sand.

We all show what we want the world to see. 

So why do some parents think that special needs parents are jealous of their 'neurotypical' children? Perhaps this is more about narcissism than jealousy?

Facebook is full of proud parents boasting of their children's achievements (myself included). All parents brag about their children but the internet provides a huge platform for our self gratification.

I admit this can be hard for special needs parents, especially at report time, when the status updates can be a uncomfortable reminder of your own child's difference.

But I am not jealous of another child's success!

To be jealous would signify disappointment in my sons achievements and I can honestly say that he never ever disappoints me. His amazing strength of character, belief and tenacity make me immensely proud!

I do not compare my child with anyone else. He is simply and beautifully unique!
I am jealous (fiercely protective of one's rights or possessions) when:
  • My children are excluded. 
  • Parents assume their 'normal' children are 'superior'. 
  • People lack patience or understanding. 
  • People take things for granted.
I have found the response to my argument (too late, as usual)...

Yes, I am jealous...

I am fiercely protective of my family.


I am not resentful.

Nor am I bitter.

I am simply supporting those I love...

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