Friday Rant: Bugger off IBS

7 August 2015

Dear IBS,

I really wish you would just bugger off. I don't have time to deal with you at the moment. I was enjoying my holiday, having fun with my boys, relaxing in the sunshine until you came along and spoiled things. Don't you know that you're a complete pain in the butt (and tummy). I really wish IBS would just disappear!

Why do you start? Where do you come from? And why is it always at the worse moments?

Instead of relaxing and enjoying the party week festivities in our village and enjoying a little tipple too. I have spent the majority of the last 3 mornings contemplating the pattern of tiles on our bathroom wall and debating the merits of moist v normal toilet paper. Then you have forced me to rush home (squeezing my bum cheeks together) only to sit for 20 minutes with nothing but wind. 

The embarrassment of it all. The other morning some people walking past heard me farting loud enough to rival a set of concert timpani drums and burst into a fit of giggles. I'd laugh too if it didn't feel like someone was squashing my intestines through a mangle!


How long are you going to stay this time. You're like an annoying relative paying a surprise visit,  sapping all my energy and taking my time. Will it be a few days a week or 7 weeks (not joking it lasted 7 weeks once). On the plus side I may loose some weight but due to the bloating I'll still look 4 months pregnant.

I don't hate many things but I hate you! 
Just bugger off!


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Random Musings said...

This sounds like a really annoying condition. Apart from the obvious pain and embarrassment factor, it must be really frustrating having to plan days out etc around availability of toilet facilities! #effitfriday
Debbie
www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

Nigel Higgins said...

What a terrible condition to suffer from must make life really difficult great post :)

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Yes it's a bloody pain Debbie. But the bugger won't beat me!

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Thanks Nigel.

Laura Powell-Corbett said...

Great rant but horrible condition. It must really be tough planning your life round something that you have no control over from flare ups to how long they last and to have people laugh. I'm ranting for you!

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Thanks Laura. Great to have your support!

Cuddle Fairy said...

Eeee that's not fun times. I'm sorry you have to deal with IBS. I suffered from stomach issues for years! I used to massage my stomach in a circle - starting at my right hip, moving up to my belly button & down to my left hip, down & back up to my right hip. It's important to go in that direction - did you ever try it? I don't know if that'd give you relief or not but might not hurt to try :) I hope you are feeling better soon #wineandboobs x

Anonymous said...

What a pain this condition can be, my friend suffers badly too, it puts her off of eating because she worries how it will affect her today. Hope you find something to ease it a little and you get to enjoy some festivities. #wineandboobs

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Thanks Becky I'll definitely give it a try. Feeling much better today.

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Thanks for your comment! 😊

Rob Carew said...

That does not sound like a pleasant situation to be in. I hope you can find something to help your situation. #wineandboobs


www.carewsinsuburbia.com

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Cheers Rob!

Morna Piper said...

Oh poor old you! Why do these ailments always strike on holiday? My favourite holiday cocktail is a UTI and a cold sore- just makes things so much more fun! #wineandboobs

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Oh i know it's like they know to jump out on us when we are happy & relaxed. Thanks for commenting Morna.

Jemma Chambers said...

oh no :( i hope it clears up soon #wineandboobs

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Feeling much better thanks Jemma x

Janine Woods - Unhinged Mummy said...

Oh you poor thing. Doesn't sound much fun (obviously!). But it does sound like you're not letting this condition get the better of you. Good for you!
#wineandboobs

zoe dunn said...

Oh no total sympathy this sounds awful. I feel your embarrassment. My eldest son when he was 4 announced to the whole of the public loo (we're a holiday town the public loo is massive) "mummy are you doing a poo?........giggle" no darling mummy's just doing a wee wee (which I was) the darling boy - "no mummy your doing a poo" is it child abuse to gag them if no one can see??? #wineandboobs

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Thanks Janine! Very true.

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

OMG I would have been mortified too! Mine just tried to open the door. He hasn't succeeded yet thank goodness.

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