Sometimes... A poem about autism parenting.

7 June 2016

Sometimes I feel tired. 

Tired of painting on my smile, 
Tired of being in control, 
Tired of being everything to everyone. 

I want to let go... 

Sometimes I don't want to fight about
How long he's been on the computer...
Or listen to
It's not fair.

Sometimes I don't want to hear about 
Problems at school,

Disagreements with friends 
Or which is the best character on Super Smash Bros. 

Sometimes I don't want to know about 
'Normal' children
Birthday parties
and fantastic reports.

Sometimes when I ask him for the millionth time;
Have you flushed the toilet, brushed your teeth, 
Remembered to put on your shoes 
I just want to


Sometimes life is like 
Playing the wire loop game. 

I need a good
Sense of inner balance 
And a brilliant amount of control 
To keep moving on.

Sometimes the game isn't fair!
Our loops are harder. 
One false move,  
And start again...

Sometimes I don't want 
To play the game...

Sometimes I don't want to 
Go to therapy,
Or think,
Or feel...

Sometimes I don't want
To be strong.
I want to cry at the injustice of it all.
Why us? Why my son???

Sometimes I dream about 
what might have been if...

Sometimes I just need 
Someone to say; 
Yes it is 

I need to feel sad and disillusioned
That my child has autism
Without feeling guilty!


Comments are disabled but sharing is caring!

Photography @My_Dutch_Angle

©spectrum mum ~ ( 2014 - present day. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to spectrum mum with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
© Spectrum Mum. Design by FCD.