Bloggers beating cancer: When you knocked on my door....

18 September 2016

Bloody Cancer,

I'll never forget the first time you knocked on my door. Well you didn't really knock you just kicked the door right in with one mighty boot. The chill of your sudden presence stunned me into a shocked silence. It stunned us all... 

The Drs tried to force you back but you were too strong. I made promises to anyone who would listen and refused to accept that this bear of a man, this gentle giant who had always made me feel like the most special little girl in the whole world, his
C C C Catie 
could be taken away so quickly with so little warning.

I watched and waited, desperately attempting to heal with the spirit of my love, to bring peace, whilst you consumed the body of the grandpa that I adored.

The day I discovered a lump in my breast I felt the threat of your return.  The idea of you filled my thoughts and swamped me. I could sense you grasping, attempting to get a grip. Every moment took on a new significance, every cuddle, every smile, every conversation became tainted by you. The future that I wanted so much to be a part of (watching my boys grow into amazing young men) was suddenly uncertain. It terrified me. It engulfed me.

But this time it wasn't you knocking. I was the lucky one and I vowed to start looking for rainbows...

I'll never forget the night we got your call. You forced your way back into our lives, turning our world upside down, filling me with sadness and guilt at how far away I am from my family, how I am no help or support.

The initial shock turned to panic. I don't want to introduce you to my children? You are the bogeyman, a phantom, the stuff of nightmares, I don't want you in their world.  How do you answer a child who asks; Will he die?

But you don't discriminate, you don't care, young, old, male, female, Dutch or English. And now we live with you in our lives as so many people do...

I wish we could find a way to barricade that door and never let you back in.
I wish we could send you far away where you can not cause any more confusion, pain, sadness, desperation and torment.
I wish we could kick your arse!

How you can help.

Join #BloggersBeatingCancer

#BloggersBeatingCancer – join Emma & Sarah on Friday 30th September at 10.30am, for coffee and a social media thunderclap. Use the hashtag, get your friends involved, and get fundraising if you can.”

As Sarah from Mumzilla said:

We bloggers, as a collective, we could really shout. How many people could we each get to donate say £5 to charity? To Bart’s Charity and to MacMillan, for both cure and care? So we have set a date for bloggers, and the people who read our ramblings, to have a virtual coffee morning. To spend 10, 15, 30 minutes, whatever we can spare, to sit and have a drink, and to talk to our friends, either in person or online. To ask people to donate to these amazing causes, that could change lives, that could save lives.

Please support this campaign if you can!

You can donate here.

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Photography @My_Dutch_Angle

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