Why I hate buffet restaurants

23 March 2017

Dear friend,

Lately we've had a rush of family birthdays to contend with. Everyone is born in February or March (or so it seems). In Holland birthdays are a massive affair. Even if you don't want to celebrate the relatives will still appear at your door expecting coffee and cake and to sit in a circle chatting together whilst you run around like a headless chicken. Every year it becomes a massive bone of contention!

This year some of the family have foregone the circle party at home for a buffet style restaurant. I thought this might improve matters but oh no I was totally and completely wrong!!

  1. The food isn't that good - it's warm not hot. I worry about the freshness of the food! The good  stuff disappears in 2 minutes. The whisper goes around there are prawns and... I missed them whilst taking child 2 to the loo. All that's left is a manky looking specimen I wouldn't give to the dog. 
  2. Greed - I always seem to end up getting sat next to great uncle Charles who makes the largest food pyramid he can on his tiny plate and drops half of it down my back as he stumbles to his chair. Hubby inevitably embarrasses me by making so many trips to the buffet he wears a path in the carpet. "One more chocolate eclair whilst I'm going to the buffet?" Oh go on. Who can resist? Not me. I spend my afternoon lying on the couch with a full tummy feeling sick.
  3. Waste - Big eyes + small bellies = waste  Do I need to say more?
  4. They aren't relaxing - You are waiting on yourself. I always get stuck behind the person who can't make their mind up, or can't work the tongs so uses fingers (disgusting) or takes the last brownie. 
  5. They are Not Kid Friendly! - Hubby and I have to work as a food tag team one is the hunter and the other the feeder. We barely get to see each other never mind speak. One spends ages walking around trying to choose something that the kids will actually eat whilst the other desperately tries to keep them entertained and get food actually in their mouth.
  6. Value - by the time you've added in the extra drinks, ice creams for the kids, alcohol (Yes another bottle of wine please!) you may as well have paid for decent waiter service and quality food in a 'real' restaurant.

I've decided this year I definitely will not be celebrating my big day. No circle parties or dodgy buffets for me! Am I having some kind of mid-life crisis? No not at all, even if my head is telling me I'm 21 and my mirror shouting you fool and laughing in disbelief. I have decided that this year is going to be about me and not about satisfying any expectations.

Anyone want to join me at the spa? Who am I kidding it's more likely to be McDonalds and bowling. Happy Birthday to me!

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Photography @My_Dutch_Angle

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