My Sunday Photo

14 October 2018

If History were told in the form of stories it would never be forgotten...

Helmsley castle

Check out more My Sunday Photo posts here...

Growing pains

10 October 2018

Dear friends,
do you ever look at your children and think, Oh my goodness, where is the time going? I do. I have a major conflict of interests. Stuck between wanting to freeze time to keep my boys 'little' and being excited about the things they are yet to achieve. This poem is my response to the unforgivable habit of growing up. 

Growing Pains

I need your help! 
I am experiencing terrible growing pains,
It only seems like two sleepless nights ago 
That you were tiny babies, 
Looking up at me with wonder in your eyes. 
I was your world...

I am sorry,
I did not always appreciate these days.
The multiple, minute, repetitive moments that filled them
Made it sometimes
Feel like forever.

I am sorry,
Sometimes I felt lonely,
I was afraid that I was getting it wrong,
I wasted time waiting for the next milestone to come
And I wasted energy comparing your path with others.

But most of all I am sorry that
I didn't realise how with each milestone
You were moving further
And further
Away from me...



I wish with ever fibre of my being 
That I could experience one more time how...

Your tiny, soft foot fit in the palm of my hand.
I could carry you in one arm (resting you on my hip)
Your first words were spat out with pride and determination.
You pulled funny faces as you experimented with new foods.
Your warm body curled into me in bed with your feet flat against my side. 
You only covered your excited face during games of Hide and seek.
You squealed go faster during bike rides to the duck pond.
Holding your tiny hand in mine made me feel safe.
I had to rush my shower because you needed me.
My pockets were always full of your special finds. 
Going to the toilet became a group outing.
Your little face appeared at the window as I left for work.




I failed...
In the business of our lives,
To spot the tell tale signs that
Things were changing.
In my blinkered
Rush to get life done,
I missed the signs that
You were outgrowing me.

But I can't fail to notice it now... 
It hits me right between the eyes, every time I look at your long legs.
It weighs me down, when I try to lift you up.
It cuts deep, every-time I offer my hand and you decline.
It makes my tummy flip, when you refuse face painting or dressing up.
It saddens my soul, when there's no-one at the window to wave goodbye.
It cripples my confidence when you utter the words; 'Oh Mum, embarrassing."
It fills me with sadness, when you have nothing to tell me.
It says I told you so, every-time you dash out of the door without a kiss!




Now it is me who is looking at you
With eyes filled with wonder,
Who wants to ask you all the questions,
Who wants to follow you
And snuggle at your side.

Please cut mummy some slack,
Give me that occasional squeeze,
Tell me about your day,
Let me call you my baby,
Hold my hand.

Know that you will always be my world
Even when I'm no longer yours!





This is a revised post.

Pockets reference - you must read the post by occupation mother. 


My Sunday Photo

7 October 2018

The only way to be sure of catching a train is to miss the one before it.




A Glimpse into our autism: High Functioning

3 October 2018

Dear friend,

Our big lad recently started secondary school and has also made the shift from mainstream to special school. It gave me a great sense of peace over the summer holidays to know that he would be moving into an environment that is set up to understand and support children with autism. But then...

Do you think they will find him 'too normal' at this school?
He is not what I expected at all. He's really good isn't he? He is really friendly and communicative.
Yes but he is different than the 'others' you can't tell by looking at him.
I thought he was really high functioning.

To hear this from people we know and some we love shocked me.


Big lad doing a Fortnite dance on the summit of Roseberry Topping.

Our son has always been lost in this no-man's land between being 'too good' for specialist support and 'not good enough' for mainstream.

High functioning children with autism are often left out of the support scenario because there is not enough funding. We are used to fighting for the help that he needs. By moving into the special school system I hoped that the fight would become easier.

People like the linearity of a scale, we like to put things in boxes or to see where they fit and make comparisons.

Verbal, articulate people with autism are often placed at the top of the scale and labelled as high functioning whereas Non verbal people with autism are often placed at the bottom and labelled low functioning.

But...

Autistic people can not be put neatly into a box or applied to a scale because autism is a spectrum disorder.

To use labels like 'normal' or 'high functioning' is not helpful to us because it belittles the difficulties that my son faces every single day. People assume that he won't need many or any accommodations because he is high functioning or looks or acts normal.

Functioning labels are not an accurate representation of the help that an autistic person needs.

High Functions does not mean, doesn't need any help!







A glimpse into autism is a series of short letters that explore the impact autism has on our family on a day to day basis. Disclaimer:  this is our experience not all autistic people are the same. 

#PointShoot October

2 October 2018

Do you love making photos of your family? Do you like to record the everyday memories you are making? Then #PointShoot could be the linky for you. Come and share your photo story posts with me. 

You can share days out snaps or a fun, special, or touching moment from your week. It can be one photo (including Instagram posts) or a series of shots with words or without.



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A photograph is the pause button of life.







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Photo Diary September

1 October 2018

Dear Friend,

I love capturing the ordinary moments and special times with my camera, looking at our life through a lens gives me a clearer focus. Here I take a look back at some of my favourite moments from the month. 

 Now over to my photo diary... Happy days!



  • New haircuts. Little man was very pleased with his new lightning bolt design
  • Big lad enjoying a Haring at the market in Leiden
  • Cycling into the city with my boys
  • Sunday morning walks at the beach
  • Watching my boys enjoying being together and splashing in the sea
  • A walk in the forest. It was full of fallen acorns
  • Little man found a huge stick!
  • We spent ages listening to acorns dropping into the lake


  • A day out in Haarlem
  • Discovering tiny doorways
  • Finding beautiful hidden streets
  • A great view from the top of Hudson Bay
  • An afternoon at the Rijksmuseum
  • Discovering stunning architecture
  • Seeing famous artworks up close
  • An evening function in a cafe on the beach & a beautiful sunset  

See more Photography posts...

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