A Glimpse into our Autism: Jealous?

17 October 2018

Dear Friend,

Yesterday she asked me:
Are you jealous?
The implication was that I was jealous of her 'normal' child.

This shocked me to the core.
I am not envious. I don't wish that my son was like hers.

My family mean everything to me. I love my boys unconditionally and I do not compare them with anyone else. They are simply and beautifully unique!

Perhaps this is more about narcissism than jealousy? Facebook is full of proud parents boasting of their children's achievements, the internet provides a huge platform for our self gratification.

I admit that I tend to avoid Social Media at report time, when the status updates can be an uncomfortable reminder of my own child's difference. But I am not jealous of another child's success!

I know that everyone faces challenges, regardless of what their Facebook profile shows
We all show what we want the world to see.

To covert what someone else has you must first be disappointed with what you have.

How could I ever be disappointed with my boy? Our successes may be different but they are every bit as significant and maybe even more hard fought.

My sons amazing strength of character, belief and tenacity make me immensely proud every single day.

Jealous does have a different connotation. It can also mean fiercely protective of one's rights or possessions.

As the mum of a special needs child I do feel jealous when:
  • My children are excluded
  • Parents assume their 'normal' children are 'superior'
  • People lack patience or understanding

Yesterday she asked me:
Are you jealous?

Why should I be?

I do  not consider your child to be 'better' than mine?

Autistic doesn't mean less.

A glimpse into autism is a series of short letters that explore the impact autism has on our family on a day to day basis. Disclaimer:  this is our experience not all autistic people are the same. 

This is a revised post.

If you liked this post then please feel free to share on social media or drop me a comment. Thank you!
Jeremy Barnes said...

great post. I'm constantly trying to limit by bragging about my daughter, but it can be hard. I'm very proud and amazed by her. .....like any parent. Some children just have different achievements and skills that make us proud. Others need to remember that

Catie: Imperfect Mum said...

Thanks Jeremy glad you liked it! Your so right that others need to remember.

Martyn Kitney said...

I pretty much under play everything. Including the kids. I'm massively proud of them and do want to brag. Maybe that's why I blog. I don't know. A friend gas the most perfect child. I'm a little jealous. But I also am pleased. As in some ways it makes my boys more interesting. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there this week.

Something Crunchy Mummy said...

Fab post! Facebook is a platform for everything shiney and I do honestly try to post hard times of my life on there. The person who asked you this is obviously not a 'friend' I am jealous by your definition as I am very protective of my family #bigfatlinky xx

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