I won't be making any New Year Resolutions this year

31 December 2016

Dear friend,

Happy New year to you. I really hope it's a great one filled with fun, love and good health. It is natural of course at this time of year to reminisce over the past year and to look to the next.

Hubby surprised me with a meal out last night and we sat with the boys discussing our favourite parts of last year. Little man enjoyed going to the zoo, big lad Christmas, hubby the holiday and me what would be my moment of choice? I didn't actually go for a moment even though they have been many moments of magic this year (our year in photos) I went for a word that encompasses it all, family... then little man said, love...

You see this year has been amazing and filled with special times with family and good friends but there has also been a spectre hanging over me. I faced major surgery in January and came through thankful and happy that it was over but unfortunately it wasn't and problems have persisted. I found this really difficult to shake away at times...

After demanding more help I was given an MRI scan and just before Christmas, the word cancer was introduced into the equation. The panic threatened to pull me under. I was petrified that this disease that has already invaded our family, was going to ruin everything I have and it shook me to the core. But I read one quote that stuck with me throughout:

We waited 6 days for an outcome. This quote became my mantra during those six days.

Life went on, I held it together but every time I looked at my kids I panicked, every time I folded the wash I wondered how would hubby cope alone, I felt guilty, how would we explain my illness to the boys, should we tell them at all?

Over those 6 days I found no peace...

Thank goodness, for me, the news was positive. I am one of the lucky ones!

I have spent a wonderful Christmas with my family and friends, I have relaxed for the first time in ages, switched off from everything (this blog included) but I needed to write this before the year is out, to draw a line under it all...

This year,  I will not be making any resolutions. I will not wait for the end of a year to improve my life or reach for a goal. Life is far too short to wait for things to happen. Make your life exactly what you want it to be.

I am determined that I will not forget how I felt when faced with the possibility of losing it all. I will never take for granted what I have and I will always be grateful because:

When you love what you have, you have everything you need!

Wishing you all a very happy and healthy 2017.

You can make a donation to Macmillan Cancer Support here.

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