A Glimpse into our autism: Lies

16 May 2018

Dear friend,

Yesterday he told a lie...

Autistc children don't lie.

I have read this numerous times, writers stating that this is a clear sign of autism.

Autistic children do not have theory of mind so can not lie.

Well somebody obviously forgot to tell the big lad.

Up until the age of 8, things were very simple.
  • Did you wash your hands? 
  • No. 

  • Did you hit your brother? 
  • Yes. 

  • Who ate the last cookie? 
  • Me. 

The world was black and white with no shades, tints or hues of grey, only honesty and mostly brutal honesty at that; you smell, look at that fat lady, that cake is horrible, it stinks in here, Dutch food is better than English food etc

When we tried to explain that his comments seemed rude sometimes, the response was: Why? I am only telling the truth, that is what I think.

Then he told a lie...

Most parents would feel shocked and perhaps a little disappointed that their child lied to them but I didn't. Instead I felt relieved, as I recognised this as a significant step forward in the big lad's cognitive development.

Yes, my son lied!

Most of the lies are purely avoidance techniques e.g. Yes, I did wash my hands, brush my teeth, feed the dog, it hasn't developed beyond this and there is one saving grace. He is really, really bad at lying!

When he lies he can't help but laugh and his eyes become as wide as saucers, head tilted slightly to the side. After a few seconds he has crumbled.

Yesterday he told a lie...
Some Autistic Children do tell lies!

A glimpse into autism is a series of short letters that explore the impact autism has on our family on a day to day basis. Disclaimer:  this is our experience not all autistic people are the same. 

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