Over Protective

7 November 2018

She told me I was
Over protective.
I listened, I heard, I tried to explain
but she did not listen...

We fought for this appointment
We waited for an eternity...
The anxiety crept into my throat
Strangling my vocal cords.

I am mum, mummy, mama.
It is my job to protect,
To worry about my son.
Isn't it?

I sought specialist help
I attended every appointment.
I challenged the ignorance of those
Who only ever saw the negative.

I cried tears of frustration
behind closed doors
when he was struggling
to do what his peers found easy.

I fought for early diagnosis.
I fought harder when the diagnosis came.
I educated myself about autism.
I became the reluctant expert in my child.

I ignored the whispered slights at the school gate.
I calmed him after unkind words from friends.
I held his hand when he wasn't invited to the parties.
I listened night after long night when he couldn't sleep.

I reassured when he didn't want to be different,
I encouraged as he picked himself up again and again.
I cheered as he made new friends
I applauded as he exceeded all expectations.

I challenged the deficit model.
I failed to accept people
telling us what he couldn't do
And made them see what he could.

I battled against the stereotypes
And confronted the false beliefs.
I taught him that he is enough,
Autistic doesn't mean less.

I am proud to be overprotective,
I have earned my stripes.
I asked for help not judgement,
We won't be back...

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Photography @My_Dutch_Angle

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