The last post

22 April 2019

Dear friend,

Spectrum mum is no more.

I fell into blogging. I never wanted to make money or become an overnight success. I never thought I was a great writer, I didn’t even know what an influencer was. But it quickly became all consuming.

I discovered an online world where people offered support and friendship. Where there were other people like me. It felt really good. It was a comfort at a time when I was lonely, confused and vulnerable

This space started as a way for me to share my thoughts and feelings. It was cathartic. But a year ago things started to change.
  • I discovered the darker, Machiavellian side of blogging when I inadvertently upset a very prominent blogger.
  • Something significant happened and I didn’t want to share it online.
  • We suddenly, devastatingly lost my father-in-law to cancer. 
  • Life got very busy when I started to teach four days a week.
  • Big lad started secondary school and he needed extra support.
  • I got trolled on twitter by an autistic person.
  • I started to write my book.
As I collected all my thoughts and ideas, to make sense of my feelings over the last twelve years and put my book together, I realised that this felt like a suitable place to pause our story. 

The time feels right to hand the baton on to my boy. Our story has come of age at the same time as him. This is after all his story and as the autistic community keeps telling us, we need to listen to the voices of actually autistic people, hear it from the horse's mouth. My young man is capable and old enough to advocate for himself.

And I recognise that I have changed...

I don’t want to be Spectrum Mum. I don’t want my thoughts, ideas, time, energy or life to be consumed by autism. As I don’t want my son to be defined by having autism. Our lives are so much more. We are so much more!

It’s time to celebrate all that I am... teacher, mum, writer, wife, photographer, friend, deep thinker, sister, over sharer/carer,  daughter and lover of life and gin.

I will always be grateful that I founded this space to share our story and to raise awareness and acceptance of autism. That I discovered a supportive community and found friendship too. But it is time to say goodbye to Spectrum Mum, to put her to bed. 

This is my fond farewell, my valediction, my swan song, my last post. Perhaps it is also the ultimate acceptance?!

Thank you for always listening!

Kind Regards,

Photography @My_Dutch_Angle

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